I've never actually closed a book and refused to finish it.

Twilight changed that.

This had to be the worst book I've ever read in my entire life.

I had been seeing this Twilight stuff quite a bit in the last six months or so. Everything from Fanart here on DA, to big RPs going on, to a movie thats coming out. It piqued my interest enough when my sister Leah, who I usually consider to be a good judge of books, kept telling me I had to read it and how great it was. I borrowed the books from my roommates mother, who also said that they were so gripping she couldn't put them down. Another good sign. What I failed to do was read the reviews from Amazon like I should have.

This book was terrible. It started out alright. Stephanie Meyer's writing style isn't particularly memorable. She doesn't over use certain vocabulary words, but it does get a bit redundant at times the way she tries to toss in big words to help out her descriptions. Words like "alabaster" "scintillating" and "smoldering."

At first I was intrigued with the description of the town of Forks, and how the people lived there and interacted. I liked her descriptions of the new highschool and how Bella felt going into it. What really began to annoy me though, was the instant obsession that all the boys in school suddenly had for Bella. Oh no... Miaka complex was starting to form! Fushigi Twilight? Despite this, I expected I would soon be swept into a gripping plot filled with chemistry and tension and mystique. lawl.

By something like the 5th Chapter, with no interaction whatsoever, Edward is already rescuing Bella in an anime-like fashion and exhibiting super-human characteristics. He's oh so brooding, and oh so charismatic, but he's oh so there for her whenever she needs him to be! But he himself doesn't know why he saved her! Its destiny! its fate! suddenly they are in love!

WTF? And then the next 400 pages are filled with useless drivel describing in unnecessary detail Edwards greek-god pectoral muscles and his sculpted arms, and how he glitters in the sun and how he's so perfect and how could such a beautiful specimen ever fall for poor generic normal Bella who is totally unworthy? KILL ME NOW!

Its like Stephanie Meyer can't decide what kind of character she wants him to be. Is he brooding and mysterious? Is he happy go lucky? Is he the anti-hero with a dark past? Oh wait he's all of these things! He's whatever she feels like he should be at the time! I was gagging through every page, and rolling my eyes. I had to keep going though. There had to be some reason why this stupid book was so popular. The foolish female populace couldn't have simply dug these books because of their basic and dead-horse-beaten-over-used supernatural shoujo-manga-esque plot... could they? We've all seen the brooding anti-hero falls in love with the generic mary-sue, and rescues her multiple times from thugs in the street and other evil villains plot. So what makes this one so special? I don't understand.

In my high school days I read a lot of stupid romance novels. But unlike Twilight, these novels had lots of charisma, lots of chemistry. The build up of sexual tension and desire between the characters was palpable, and it had me riveted with my nose in the book into the wee hours of morning. Twilight failed on all accounts. The dialog was trite, boring, and superfluous; The characters were 2d, flawless, and forgettable; The conflict, that takes place throughout the few chapters at the end of the book, seemed last minute and was resolved in the most anti-climatic way ever.

This book was so predictable on so many levels that not once did I ever feel nervous for the characters, afraid of the outcome, or confused on what might happen. At the end, without even a show down or much explanation as to what happened to the "antagonist", we go back to Edward and Bella in the hospital, with more useless fluff and needy I love yous and boring dialog. I gave up.

I closed the book, put it back in the box with the other Twilight series books that had been lent to me, and sat there wondering what exactly I had missed, that everyone else seemed to love so much.

Plot: Basic, unoriginal
Writing: Juvenile, forced
Buildup: nonexistent
Characters: forgettable, marysue

WTF people. Just WTF. And if you are going to respond in defense of this book, please explain to me what is so great about it... because to be honest? I am ridiculously easy to please. I've never walked out of a movie before, and I liked the last Harry Potter book. It entertained me, and I'm not that picky. Its just that this Twilight book was so--UNBELIEVABLY--terrible.. that even someone like ME... had to stop reading it.

I need to know, because I really feel like I'm the only person out there who feels this way. Yes, I am not a teenage girl, but neither is my roommates mother, so that is not an excuse.

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